Lessons in Forgiveness

  My mind has been all over the place the past 3 days, as so many have.  It's hard to concentrate when the TV news, the tweets, the facebook posts and the papers are laden with the stories from the tragedy in Newtown, CT.  The tears keep falling as we grieve for those families.
  For me a prevailing theme has carried through in this tragedy and also in another recent tragedy here in Iowa.  FORGIVENESS.   Three times in just two weeks I hear parents and a sibling of those who have lost loved ones implore us to forgive. 
  A grieving mom, Heather Collins, says "we forgive whoever did this but they still have to meet justice."  Sweet Emily Parker died in Newton and her dad Robbie Parker  says to pray for the family of the young man who killed all these children and teachers--he portrays forgiveness.   And in an interview on Fox News, Craig Scott, the brother of Jessica Scott who was murdered in the Columbine tragedy shares how the only way he and his family were able to move on was through forgiving.   He shared how he lived with depression and a great deal of anger and finally realized that he had to forgive.  To forgive as Christ forgave. 
  I remember reading a book called "The Shack" several years ago.  If you haven't read it you should--I remember giving it to several people who were struggling with bitterness and anger from past wounds.    The prevailing message in this book was also about forgiveness.  I remember a statement that said "forgiveness is letting go of the other person's throat" and "forgiveness is more about what it will do for you, not the other person."    I wonder if I have always forgiven as easily as what these people have?  I wonder if there are still grudges and feelings of unforgiveness that lurk within me? Am I harboring anything towards anyone?  It certainly is a question I am asking again in the midst of watching people like Heather & Drew Collins, Robbie Parker, and Craig Scott who have lost loved ones in such horrific tragedies.  The grudges and things I might be harboring are so very minor, and yet I know how grudges and unforgiveness can control me; and I see it destroy so many people.  Two friends very close to me chose to forgive.  Kevin Jansma forgave the man who killed his young wife when he was driving drunk.  Janelle Allen forgave the man who was driving drunk and killed her mom and sister.  Some of her siblings still live with anger from not forgiving; she lives in freedom; so does KJ.
   MATTHEW 6:12 "Forgive our sins as we have forgiven those who sin against us."
   MARK 11:25 "When you are praying first forgive anyone you are holding a grudge against, so that your Father in heaven will forgive your sins too."  God's word meant to guide us and give us freedom. 

  "Father God, I have not always been quick to forgive but when I have I experience freedom and peace.  How I pray that we, your children, will be the ultimate example of forgiveness instead of bitterness and anger.  Use me, use us to show YOU to this broken, angry world."   AMEN

Choose Joy


  What a month!  It's been a month filled with lots of ups and downs, all starting with a beautiful advent event at St. Marks Lutheran Church in West Des Moines.   What an amazing night with beautifully decorated tables.  The evening was a challenge for me to get through as we had just learned that my father-in-law had passed away that day after a two year battle with cancer but what struck me as I was preparing final thoughts on my talk was that even in the midst of the unknown Mary and Elizabeth CHOSE JOY; and I could do the same.  
   A week later I shared my heart at Hope West Des Moines' Womens Christmas Brunch.  Another gorgeous event with decorations and food that were outstanding, not to mention beautiful worship by "The Girl Band".   What fun to sit by a new friend, Mary Stier, who is the Director of Womens Ministry.  Mary has a heart as big as Texas as some say; and it shone through in this event.   How I thank her for letting me be a part of their special celebration. 

PRC Wrapping Project

  Last week it was sharing at our Prairie Ridge "Life Together" monthly womens gathering where afterwards all the women wrapped gifts together for a service project to help our Creative Arts Director, Derek Pine.  What fun to watch women join together to serve--laughter, tears, pouring out their hearts--talking about "choosing joy" in the midst of the Christmas season.

  One of the prevailing points I was trying to make is that JOY IS A CHOICE and that too often we let the circumstances of life steal or joy and we live joyless rather than joyful.   I was heading into Walgreens just a few days ago to pick up a prescription - feeling absolutely rotten, yet reflecting on the very words I had been encouraging women with for 3 weeks.  JOY - JOY - JOY.....not the same as happiness, because I was not at all happy that I'd been feeling so crummy for the major part of a month.  I also was wearing somewhat of a heavy heart over the loss of my husband's dad, two friends who had just lost their dads, the recent news of two little girls whose bodies had been found after disappearing 6 months ago.   But I also had a peace and contentment that only comes from the joy of the Lord.  Psalm 43:4 says "there I will go to the altar of God, to God--the source of all my joy."   As I was wrapped in my own thoughts a young woman at the photo counter stopped me and grabbed my hand.  "You spoke at my church last week, and I just want you to know how much that blessed me and how badly I needed to hear what you had to say."   A big smile came across her face, and mine as well.  "Thank you I replied.:  So many of you have said that same thing--"I needed to hear that."  That's my constant prayer--that God will use what's on my heart to bless someone else's heart.

    I walked away praising God, knowing that truly HIS JOY this Christmas season is MY JOY.  And today I'm singing that - how can you not smile when you sing this song!   Sing it with joy.