The Quest for Healthy Eating

  The older I get the more I realize that I can't eat like I used to.   Now, as a whole, I'm pretty slim.  I try to work out 4-5 times a week, and I try to change up my routine so I don't bored.  I have a tendency to get tired of the same old same old.  In fact, this summer my husband and I decided to take up tennis again after about 15 years of not playing.   I have felt like a little kid again.  We're not that great (although we like to think we are), but more fun than that is the laughter and enjoyment of doing something together that's not work.  Of course, the laughter raises when I get in a great shot that he can't return or when I beat him--love that!
  Anyway, I'm a product of a farm girl which meant we had sweets around all the time so that we could feed the helpers who came in the summer to bale hay and walk beans.  We never had a meal without dessert, and to this day I love it.  But darn, I can't eat as much as I used to and neither can my husband.  So I'm always looking for ways to eat sweets without adding all the sugar.  A few years ago a friend introduced me to agave nectar, a natural sweetener derived from the root of the agave plant.   There are some misconceptions that it is no different from high fructose corn syrup. You can read all about it, specifically this brand of agave on this website: http://www.xgave.com/  I love it and use it to sweeten my oatmeal, steel cut oats, plain yogurt, smoothies and recently started branching out into using it for desserts so that yes, I can still have my sweets without all the calories and pointless calories found in refined sugar.   Even some great recipes on this site.
  Okay, off to make dinner.  Tonight whole grain pasta with sundried tomato pesto purchased from the Gateway Market in Des Moines.  For dessert, peaches with agave.  Maybe just a dab of whip cream.  Love it!!

My "FREE" weekend

  So when it's unbearable outside, and the mosquitos chew you up at 9:00 in the morning and you happen to find yourself with a totally free weekend what do YOU do?  Sadly, (or maybe not sadly because I love my job), I almost always end up in my office.  But I have been vowing to find myself things to do that take me away from the office and the computer that use my creativity.
  So this weekend I browsed around the farmers market, had coffee with a friend, then headed to the fabric store to buy some material and pulled out the wonderful sewing machine I bought 3 years ago; used, and then tucked away in a closet.  The result was a fun afternoon making myself an apron.  Nothing earth shattering - and it's not a fancy one but it was fun.  Now I'm thinking of making some fabric wall art.  Why don't we all take time for our hobbies; and why do I feel guilty for having a weekend when I really don't have something specific I need to be doing?  Shouldn't we revel in that moment scarce as they are?  Shouldn't I just say "this is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it?" 
  I am grateful for the weekend.  Truth of the matter is, I had a long "honey do list" for my husband.  A list of things to do outdoors but it was too hot, he hurt his back and I couldn't do the list by myself.  So I guess God treated me to a  relaxing weekend for a reason.  What a joy!

Being a grandma

  How in the world does anyone put into words the joy of being a grandma?  I remember  a few years ago when we learned we were going to be grandparents I was anything but excited.   First of all, I felt we were too young.  As if there is some magic number when one feels like they are "ready" or "entitled" to be a grandparent.   I always thought of my grandparents as being old.  They were always wrinkled, always hunched over, always LOOKED like grandparents.  And that never changed.  So to think that I was going to be a grandma at the age of 50??  Well, that just didn't seem like it should be so.

  And of course, as ANY grandparent will tell you, once they BECOME a grandparent, there is nothing better.  Truly.  A friend of mine a couple of years ago talked about making time for grandparenting.  That in this busy culture when people work much beyond regular retirement ages that often we don't allow ourselves the time to be a grandparent.   And that when we finally do have time for them, they don't have time for us.  So as long as I'm blessed to have a job that allows me flexibility (thank you BeautiControl direct sales opportunity for 20+ years), then I am going to make time in my schedule to truly enjoy being a grandma.  The once a week time I get to have a grandma day is a highlight for sure.
  Last week's fun included swimming lessons.  I had this idea that I'd sit by the pool watching Dawson paddle away, but no, I had to get down in the pool with him with his every other word being "I wanna go see my grandma".   And pretty soon I'm paddling away and blowing bubble myself.  Oh, being a kid again.  Guess grandparenting does that to you. 

Another sleepless night

  Not sure if it's a full moon or not.  A friend told me a few years ago to pay attention to that because that's normally when she can't sleep.  I don't know if that's true or not....I always attribute it to hormones.  
  I had to laugh at a friend who told me often when she wakes up she goes into her closet to read.  I've never tried that - I usually grab my pillow and head to the couch.  And it's hard to concentrate at 3 am so I usually grab my computer. Thank goodness for laptops.
  Thank goodness too for eye pads.  BeautiControl has saved my life more than once when I have a sleepless night and wake up with bags under my eyes.  I know I'm definitely going to need them in a few short hours. 

Farewell Elaine

  I mentioned a few blogs ago about my friend Elaine.  She was called home a day and half ago to be with Jesus.  A life here on earth snuffed out to quickly; but the impact of her life huge, beyond measure, and in ways that my human mind and heart don't fully comprehend. I stood in my bathroom this morning at 5 am crying as I was praying for her family.  My crying honestly was more for her 3 young adult sons and of course as a mom of a 24 and 27 year-old I couldn't help but think of them and what it would be like to lose their parents.  Would they miss me? Would they teach their children the things I've taught them? Will they seek after a relationship with our Savior in their own unique way?
  Elaine and I hadn't seen a lot of each other the past few years.  As so often happens, life had taken us on our own journeys the past several years.  However, as I am getting older the definition I place on friendship looks so much different than it did when I was younger.  I so appreciate all the friendships I've had in my lifestime.  Many have been just for a season (whether short or long), some are for a lifetime.  And it matters not whether they are there always or on occasion.  What matters for me is how I am able to serve and love and plant into them, even if ever so briefly.   I used to want friends who always gave back to me; now I don't honestly think of that so much. And the reality is that so many people do sew something into the fiber or the tapestry of your life.   
 That's how Elaine was.  I watched her handle her husband's death with grace and strength that was amazing; and truly a testimony to a life built into following Christ.  I watched from a distance, mostly through following her blogs and praying for her, and on occasion with a visit to her, as she fought this six-year battle with cancer.  She challenged me to love my children more deeply and not to forget that you can still strongly influence your adult children once they leave home.  So many people touched by one Spirit-filled woman.   Here's one of the things she wrote in her journal just weeks before her death:
  As I laid in the CT scan donut, arms over head tingly and falling numb, I had a picture of Christ with His arms spread wide on the cross, bleeding and suffering. And I thought, “This is nothing.” Thank you, Lord, for all the sweet gifts You have given me these 51 years. So many gifts, many overlooked, but so many gifts."
  What a testimony; and she inspired so many to live a life pressed into our faithful God.  I hope I, too, can be that type of woman - in sickness or in health.  And to "live in a manner worthy of the Good News about Christ" as Paul encourages in Philippians 1:27.  God speed Elaine. 

Sleepless in Des Moines

One of the joys of midlife is sleepless nights. Thankfully they aren't nearly as often as they used to be. I went through a three year spell where it was pretty much nightly. I put an alarm clock under the couch so that when I finally would drift to sleep around 3-4 am I would still be able to wake up at 5:30 am. It was a very dark time. How I thank God for a book I found in the back room of a little shop in Stillwater, Minnesota on hormones. As I read that book the chapters spoke loud and clear to me that at the age of 45 I was in pre-menopause and if I didn't find some help soon my employer and my husband would probably have me committed. I remember thinking at the time "no wonder so many couples divorce after 25-30 great years of marriage. This hormone thing was like the story "where's Waldo" because truly, I had no idea who I was and what they'd done with the real Julie.


Now when I wake up in the morning it's very seldom; and I usually use it as an opportunity to spend a little more time with God. "If you seek me you will find me"--a favorite scripture and one I live by. As I was laying in bed fighting sleep, I was reminded this morning (because it's 1:30 am in Des Moines) of the scripture from Psalm 121:3 that says "He will not let your foot slip--he who watches over you will not slumber; indeed, he who watches over Israel will neither slumber nor sleep." Love that. While I cannot sleep, my gracious God is listening to my ramblings this morning, letting me hop up on his lap and listening to me as if I were the only one in the world. He hears me when I talk, and wants to listen to me. I'm sleepless; He is not. Gonna talk to him a bit more and listen to a song by Kari Jobe that really speaks my heart. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U3GijrnfStk Then I'll wait for slumber to finally come for me. He obviously has something he wants to tell me.

Diversity

When I was reading about friendship this morning I read this quote by Maya Angelou "We all should know that diversity makes for a rich tapestry, and we must understand that all the threads of the tapestry are equal in value no matter what their color."  I spent the evening with four friends last night, most of whom I haven't seen for quite awhile.  In fact, the last time we spent a good chunk of time together was two years ago when we celebrated my 50th birthday.  It was more than just a girls birthday weekend; it was a spiritual retreat where we looked deep into our souls and talked about God as we celebrated life and friendships.  
  I love the diversity of these and other friendships.  And I am so grateful that the older I get, the more comfortable I become in who I am.  I am not nearly so worried about what people think about me (isn't that what you do in your teens, 20s and 30s?).  I am comfortable in my own skin; I am willing to speak what I'm thinking and not fret about it for hours afterwards.  I also am less about trying to put people in a box and think they should be something they're not.  These four women are so different.  One has been wrestling with God and the persona that the modern-day evangelical church places on people; another was on a two-year journey to find a different place to worship after rumblings of discontent, only to return to our local place of worship.  Another has recently had her second reconstructive surgery in an effort to help her body and self image.   We all have our "stuff".  And what a colorful conversation we had.  Celebrating life...questioning....pressing....laughing.  Diversity at its finest.