You Never Stop Missing Your Kids

Cousins at the Rose Cottage

 You never stop missing your kids do you?  My daughter came home for 3 1/2 days last week - first time in 5 years that she's been here around the holidays and it was way too short!   I think a mom never stops wanting to have her children around at Christmas, at least I don't.  All the wonderful memories of years past; celebrating this special season together - it never stops.  And of course as the parent you have your own ideas of what you should do and who they should see and of course they have their idea.  And then comes getting married, having to share with others, blended families....and learning to just be quiet which I'm not always very good about.



Amanda, future daughter-in-law?

   This time was so sweet. We spent a few hours at a cute tearoom visiting family; then a short shopping trip to the mall and the infamous Trader Joes that finally opened in Des Moines, then the winter farmers market where homemade food beckoned at every corner; two family Christmases and a birthday celebration. It was fun to watch Nicole with her nephew Dawson.  Only the second time she's seen him.   I remember how special my times were with my aunts and uncles. I still swear that I remember one visit in particular with my Uncle Russell and his wife when I spent several days there on the farm.  My mother says it's not possible to remember something that happened when I was two but I am positive I remember it. In fact, I can still picture the stairway and the bedroom I slept in.  I desire that for my grandson - that he would know his aunt because those relationships are invaluable.  And visits to aunts and uncles when mom and dad aren't around are way too much fun! I still have a special relationship with a couple of my nieces in particular, and I love having them near.  I'm also blessed to have, I think, a future daughter-in-law nearby who I'm loving getting to know more.   They all help me when I wish my daughter was closer to go on a shopping trip with or go to a movie with.  God's gracious to give them to me, and what a beautiful gift to be able to spend those three short, but wonderful days with my daughter.   

A Nagging Wife

  As so often God does, he awakened me this morning with the words "a nagging wife is like a dripping faucet."  POW - not words you enjoy hearing but when the Holy Spirit whispers to me it's like the old EF Hutton commercial "when EF Hutton speaks, people listen".  
  The deal is, these whisperings didn't take me by surprise.   I've found myself nit-picking at my husband a lot lately.  I condemn the things he puts in his mouth, I prod and push him to start exercising, I grumble at his sitting around watching TV doing endless Sodoku puzzles.  Pick, pick, pick and before you know it I feel lousy about myself and he's frustrated and tuned out to anything I say.   I've told myself hundreds of times not to become one of those old nagging wives and yet I do it anyway.   He's an awesome husband, a great dad and a wonderful grandpa.   Does the dishes every night; loves God; leads by example - so why do I pick on the negative things he does or doesn't do rather than build up the wonderful man he is?  
  Proverbs 21:19 says "better to live in a desert than with a crabby, complaining wife."  And Ephesians 4:29 says "do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building up according to their needs."  So the question is WILL I LISTEN TO THE HOLY SPIRIT and WILL I LISTEN TO GOD'S WORD.  My choice; I certainly know that.  I can't change my husband and his health choices no more than I can change inevitable snow that has arrived in Iowa.   I need a tongue grabber so that every time I start nagging my tongue gets yanked.  How I pray for my nagging tongue to only be edifying to him today. 

  For the past 9 months I have been dealing with chronic bilateral lateral epicondylitis.   To put that in laymann's terms it means I have tennis elbow.  Named because so many tennis players deal with this condition from the repetitive motion of swinging a tennis racket.  Now mind you, I hadn't played tennis in years. We're not even sure why I started experiencing it in my right elbow.  Could be from the kickboxing I was doing, maybe from the weight training...who knows.  I got irritated with it this summer because it wasn't going away so I did decide to get out the tennis racket and my husband and I had fun every Sunday evening for about 6 six weeks and yup, you guessed it. Now my left elbow has it too - so it really is tennis elbow.
  To be honest, it's been really annoying.  It's kept me up at night; I have a hard time holding the blow dryer;  my yoga practice and any weight training has been affected; I get burning in my arms after I play the piano or even dust the furniture or vacuum.  Yup, it pretty much stinks.  And I've tried all kinds of modalities like physical therapy, no upper body activity, acupuncture, chiropractor and as of this writing I've just ordered myself a couple of magnetic elbow braces.   We'll see.
  As I'm doing my bible study this past week I realized what a whiner I am.  Trust me, I've whined a lot about this.  The Holy Spirit has led me to study through Luke for the next month or so and I was reflecting on Mary and her response to God when she learns she is pregnant.  The Bible doesn't tell us a lot about her reaction.  It does say in Luke 1:29 "Mary was greatly troubled at his words and wondered what kind of greeting this might be."   We get a sense of her acceptance in verse 38 when she says "I am the Lord's servant...may it be to me as you have said."   Then she leaves and goes to see her cousin Elizabeth and I can't help but think that the two of them (she spent about three months there) had their fair share of  whining together.  Did she share her fears, her anxiety, her confusion about all that was happening? Did she say "God, why me?"  If she did we don't know.  What we do know is that she responded by PRAISING GOD.  I love this!  We read her praises in verse 46-55.  "My soul glorifies the Lord."  "my spirit rejoices in God my Savior" "He has performed mighty deeds with his arm"
   Read it for yourself.  God quieted my grumbling spirit for a bit and His Word has really challenged me to praise myself out of this.  I may have to deal with this awhile longer. I don't know.  However, I do know that I can change my attitude and praise my faithful God who is wanting to grow me in the midst of this irritating condition. 
  What are you grumbling about today?   What's caused you fear?  What's made you annoyed and irritated? Maybe you, too, need to spend a little time praising God instead.  Be like Mary. Be like David. It'll do your heart good.  It did me.

Carbs or no Carbs

  Seriously, read the magazines and you will be so confused on whether you should be eating high protein, no protein, vegan, vegetarian, complex carbs - what in the world.   And as this body gets older the plain and simple truth is I just can't tolerate some of the things I used to. 
  Recently I've been having acupuncture on a severe bout of  bilateral lateral epicondylitis - best known as tennis elbow.   This has been ongoing since about March when my desire to "be in" with the city's trend of kickboxing got the best of me.   Punching bags to relieve my frustration felt good internally but externally it wreaked havoc with my knees and elbows.  I gave up that; gave up heavy weights, got mad because it wasn't making any difference so started playing tennis this summer and of course it got worse. I've I've tried multiple modalities hoping acupuncture will work.
  At any rate, the acupuncturist gave me some very interesting nutritional information.  Nutrition is vital and acupuncture will be more effective if the body is detoxing as well.  And reading how the Chinese people eat, so much of it makes sense.  Now I've been incorporating much more tea into my daily routine.  I never have been a huge coffee drinker but was told that even drinking water never truly hydrates you and gives you the nutrients you need through fluids.  The Chinese also believe that your food should be warm - that it's easier on your spleen to have your food be warm so the spleen doesn't have to work so hard.  So rather than eating cold vegetables and juicing it's better to steam them (not in a microwave because microwaves irradiate all the nutrients).   I steamed broccoli, carrots and cauliflower yesterday, added some spinach and diced chicken and a little peanut sauce.   Drank my mangosteen team and I have to say - it was pretty tasty.  
  I've been drinking tea now for nearly a week; but this weekend Starbucks' creme brulee lattes come out and how in the world can I resist one of these when the wind is howling and the cold is beckoning me to something more tasty?  More tasty and laden with sugar and stuff that's not good for you?  Ugh.......
  Oh - want to read more?  Here's an interesting link: http://www.mindbodyherbs.com/uploads/The_Power_of_Food_basics.pdf

The Quest for Healthy Eating

  The older I get the more I realize that I can't eat like I used to.   Now, as a whole, I'm pretty slim.  I try to work out 4-5 times a week, and I try to change up my routine so I don't bored.  I have a tendency to get tired of the same old same old.  In fact, this summer my husband and I decided to take up tennis again after about 15 years of not playing.   I have felt like a little kid again.  We're not that great (although we like to think we are), but more fun than that is the laughter and enjoyment of doing something together that's not work.  Of course, the laughter raises when I get in a great shot that he can't return or when I beat him--love that!
  Anyway, I'm a product of a farm girl which meant we had sweets around all the time so that we could feed the helpers who came in the summer to bale hay and walk beans.  We never had a meal without dessert, and to this day I love it.  But darn, I can't eat as much as I used to and neither can my husband.  So I'm always looking for ways to eat sweets without adding all the sugar.  A few years ago a friend introduced me to agave nectar, a natural sweetener derived from the root of the agave plant.   There are some misconceptions that it is no different from high fructose corn syrup. You can read all about it, specifically this brand of agave on this website: http://www.xgave.com/  I love it and use it to sweeten my oatmeal, steel cut oats, plain yogurt, smoothies and recently started branching out into using it for desserts so that yes, I can still have my sweets without all the calories and pointless calories found in refined sugar.   Even some great recipes on this site.
  Okay, off to make dinner.  Tonight whole grain pasta with sundried tomato pesto purchased from the Gateway Market in Des Moines.  For dessert, peaches with agave.  Maybe just a dab of whip cream.  Love it!!

My "FREE" weekend

  So when it's unbearable outside, and the mosquitos chew you up at 9:00 in the morning and you happen to find yourself with a totally free weekend what do YOU do?  Sadly, (or maybe not sadly because I love my job), I almost always end up in my office.  But I have been vowing to find myself things to do that take me away from the office and the computer that use my creativity.
  So this weekend I browsed around the farmers market, had coffee with a friend, then headed to the fabric store to buy some material and pulled out the wonderful sewing machine I bought 3 years ago; used, and then tucked away in a closet.  The result was a fun afternoon making myself an apron.  Nothing earth shattering - and it's not a fancy one but it was fun.  Now I'm thinking of making some fabric wall art.  Why don't we all take time for our hobbies; and why do I feel guilty for having a weekend when I really don't have something specific I need to be doing?  Shouldn't we revel in that moment scarce as they are?  Shouldn't I just say "this is the day the Lord has made, I will rejoice and be glad in it?" 
  I am grateful for the weekend.  Truth of the matter is, I had a long "honey do list" for my husband.  A list of things to do outdoors but it was too hot, he hurt his back and I couldn't do the list by myself.  So I guess God treated me to a  relaxing weekend for a reason.  What a joy!

Being a grandma

  How in the world does anyone put into words the joy of being a grandma?  I remember  a few years ago when we learned we were going to be grandparents I was anything but excited.   First of all, I felt we were too young.  As if there is some magic number when one feels like they are "ready" or "entitled" to be a grandparent.   I always thought of my grandparents as being old.  They were always wrinkled, always hunched over, always LOOKED like grandparents.  And that never changed.  So to think that I was going to be a grandma at the age of 50??  Well, that just didn't seem like it should be so.

  And of course, as ANY grandparent will tell you, once they BECOME a grandparent, there is nothing better.  Truly.  A friend of mine a couple of years ago talked about making time for grandparenting.  That in this busy culture when people work much beyond regular retirement ages that often we don't allow ourselves the time to be a grandparent.   And that when we finally do have time for them, they don't have time for us.  So as long as I'm blessed to have a job that allows me flexibility (thank you BeautiControl direct sales opportunity for 20+ years), then I am going to make time in my schedule to truly enjoy being a grandma.  The once a week time I get to have a grandma day is a highlight for sure.
  Last week's fun included swimming lessons.  I had this idea that I'd sit by the pool watching Dawson paddle away, but no, I had to get down in the pool with him with his every other word being "I wanna go see my grandma".   And pretty soon I'm paddling away and blowing bubble myself.  Oh, being a kid again.  Guess grandparenting does that to you.